Single Mother,
I know this is a touchy subject and there are many people on
both sides of the fence: whether to praise single mothers on Father’s Day or to
bash single mothers who dare to call themselves fathers. Many emotions
including hurt, anger, disappointment, and disgust can cloud our decision on
the best possible reaction to this conundrum. My prayer is that you come with
an open heart as you read this post and that you seek God in the midst of your
single motherhood.
I became a single mom at the age of 15. My child’s father came
around sporadically. There were many times I wished he wouldn’t come at all
because I hated to see disappointment on my baby’s face. Over the years
Father’s Day did not exist for him because he simply wasn’t there. As I grew up
I began resenting my child’s father and only saw his faults and none of my own.
However, I vowed to never say anything bad about him in the presence of my
child. Nor did I take away his right to see our child when he wanted to do so.
My motto was I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T and I would sing that
song as loudly as I could early on in single motherhood. (Who remembers that
song?! Do you know what I mean J)
However, I’ve learned over the years that I was not a FATHER and never could
be. My son needed and still needs positive male role models in his life. Your
children are no different. Fatherlessness is an epidemic. We have to seek godly
men who can and are willing to stand in the gap for our children. We need to go
back to the “village” mentality to make it in this ever-changing world.
Single mothers, I know it’s hard. I know sometimes it feels
like you have to do everything on your own. I know about the nights crying
yourself to sleep because you don’t know how you and your child are going to
make it. I know there are times when you just want to be angry and tell the
world about it. But I also know a Savior who is listening patiently and who
wants to comfort you in your times of need. I know a Savior that wants to take
on your burdens. I know a Savior who will heal you from the inside out. I know
a Savior who redeems.
God loves you and your child, dear single mother. But do
you know who else God loves? He loves your child’s father. He loves him so much
that He gave His one and only son Jesus for him. This powerful truth has the
capability to radically change the way you view your child’s father. View him
through the lens of our Heavenly Father. If you can allow the walls to come
down that you’ve built to “protect” yourself, God has the ability to build you
up from a firm foundation. He has done it for me and I know He will do it for
you.
So, this weekend let’s vow to honor and celebrate the men in
you and your children’s lives that are making a difference. Honor the good men
that spend time with your children even though they are not biologically
related to them. After that, I want you to take it a step further. Let’s vow to
pray for your child’s absent father. Pray that they grow, mature, and come to
know the Lord. Knowing the Lord and living for Him will inevitably change their
heart. A changed heart transforms lives. Single mothers, will you take a pledge
to uphold these vows? Will you begin to let go of the hurt, anger,
disappointment, and disgust? I promise it brings such an indescribable peace to
let go and let God have His way.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I pray these
words speak into your heart and help you be the best MOTHER you can be through
Christ.
Side note: My child’s father joined my family and I for a church
service recently. Praise God! We still don’t have a perfect relationship but
with God’s help our relationship will honor God and help our son to see what it
means to live like Christ. Hallelujah! God is good!
Until next time!
In Christ,
Alissa
